Goon Status.

And lo and behold an average story

2009-07-12T00:47:00.000-07:00

I've sat and stared at this blank page for hours now, tapping my pen on the desk. Sometimes I wish I had a typewriter. Then I think and realize how difficult it would be to erase mistakes and maintain it in the first place. I should use my computer but I think hand-writing it just feels more natural. The ideas flow better.
I have a deadline to meet in two days and so far, I've written nothing. Currently I'm writing a short story for a contest for this local Noir fiction magazine. It's name doesn't really matter (besides I've forgotten it completely. I think it was about hats or something). What I need to write is, like, this short detective drama story thing. Not that it's extremely important, but the extra money wouldn't hurt.
Have you ever noticed that writer's block always comes at the most inconveinient time? I need some air. It's cold outside (December) so I need to wear a trenchcoat. Fitting, considering what I'm writing. I put on my coat and hat and sloth my way out of my small apartment. I've no real destination, except maybe 7-11, it's a walk to gather my thoughts. Eventually I come by an empty public park and sit on a bench. Exciting, no? I raise my head to look at the sky in a cliche-like and almost wistful manner. Maybe I should find something else to bide my time with. Just then, my cell phone started to ring! Hang on a sec...
"Hello?"
"Oh, hi. This is the editor to The Bowler magazine."
"Alright, watcha need?" (He should have called it "The Fedora")
"The deadline for the story was due today. We've already selected a winner."
"Ah. Well, alright then."
"We can send you a copy if you want to read it."
"Naw, dude. It's cool. Maybe I can write for you again?"
"Heh, maybe. I'll keep in touch."
"Cool. Bye."

I hung up and shut my phone, in a dramatic way of course, and placed it in my pocket.
Well, I guess I was worried for nothing. I did feel sort of out of it today anyway. Oh well. But you know, I may have an idea for a story.

-The Trilling Adventures of a Bored Writer. By Connor Favero.
Expect more short fiction from me within the week.
Toodles,
Cornbread

SOIMDRIVINGMYCARANDIMLIKEtrains

2009-06-05T18:32:00.000-07:00

So in my boredom I went to make a blog post on my blog and I'M DOING THAT RIGHT THE FUCK NEOW. Meow.

So catsbatscarpinecones.

I've now got a twitter I don't really care about but FOLLOW me at CornbreadTheMan.

I wish I had jokes but I'm not that funny but I might do like a review or something.
Yes I know no one reads this blog but I like to stroke my ego into thinking people do.

'Til next time

2009-05-09T01:23:00.000-07:00

Oh hi everybody. I can;t fucking read what I'm ypeing so don't mind if it's fuckeeed.

So today I almost played Joe's Gay at Hot Topic with an acoustic guitar. It was epic.

All of blogspot is like fuckin' black. It's really fucking wiered so that's why I can't see.
SSo I'm awesome. Yeah. I've no jokes so i cantfuckingtypeanythingfunnycauseimnotfucingfunny

Godspeed You! Black Emperor: The Webcomic #1

2009-04-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

The first Godspeed comic. Enjoy.

My First Review brought to you by the letter G-dawg fo sho

2008-10-22T15:24:00.000-07:00

I decided to post first a review for a movie called Hard Candy. I feel that my amateuristic writing would be best fit for a film that fills me and my brother with SO MUCH RAGE IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY. It stars Patrick Wilson as Jeff, photographer and suspected pedophile by our other character, Hailey, played by that girl who played Juno (she's 21 by the way). Juno's (because I can't be bothered to search up her real name) character is INSANE, in every sense of the word. She entraps Jeff, who's completely innocent of all accusations despite her saying, and through the course of the movie tortures him physically and psychologically, as well as tests my brother's and my patience. The climax of the movie is when SHE CUTS OFF HIS BALLS.
She CUTS OFF HIS BALLS.

ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I'm angry enough that she's to dense to realize that the more someone begs, pleads, and cries about their innocence, they're probably innocent. And he couldn't outsmart or overpower a 14 YEAR OLD GIRL. For god's sake man! Anyway, she grinds his freshly cut off balls in the garbage disposal. He frees himself from the table he was tied to (forgot to mention that) and proceeds to try to sneak up on her when she tazes him. Another example of how I DON'T LIKE THIS MOVIE. I've been using caps too much. After some more shit goes down she blackmails him into hanging himself.

…

He's a dipshit to say the least.

Plot: Well constructed for a suspense film, but I hat e the outcome. I just wish he had the nuts to kill her. Wait…

Characters: Acting was great and realistic on both parts. And the characters were well constructed.

How would you feel: If you were castrated by an amateur?

Rating: Despite my praises, I did not like the outcome or the fact that he apparently wasn't strong enough to kill a noodle. 4/10

-Connor "Mr. Fantastiwhirl" Favero